A few years after we graduated highschool he moved out of his mom's house for about two months. At that time he really didnt have a job but I did - I paid rent, the bills, got groceries. Maybe he had a 'stigma' about me wearing the pants but he was awfully controlling. He made my life like hell, constantly berating me for every little thing I do. The reason why I dropped out of college was him. He accused me of cheating on him while I was at school, when I did homework he insisted we went out, he put every road block out there for me. One night, we had a huge fight, he got so crazy that he took each of my pet hamsters and shot them with his bb gun in front of me. He fucked with me, as he always did. That night I made an attempt on my life- I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills and was close to being successful. Obviously it didn't work.
I guess my hope was that he would realize that he drove me over the edge. When I had a chance to talk to him about it later, and the reasons why, he made it sound like I was the crazy one. He said, "I didn't force you to skip school, that was all up to you if you really wanted to go." After my attempted suicide he said "If it was that bad, why didn't you just tell me?" That made me think I was really losing it - because every time I tried to express my unhappiness he would shove it down my throat. I was never allowed to get mad at him. I was just told to 'deal with it!'
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