The hope to start healing

I really don’t know if this is the most appropriate name for this blog. I read somewhere that a memoir is a person’s account of their version of the truth, whether it really happened that way or not. The person sees it as their emotional truth, and to that point this is what this journal is going to be all about. For so many years I have been denied my own emotions, feelings & needs - conditioned to think and feel what he tells me. He's defined my reality for so long, and this is my road back to my own reality. I am doing this for me, I am doing this for my kids. They are the only ones who inspire me to be true to myself, and I hope that I set that example strongly enough for the both of them. I feel like I am swimming against the current, because the longer I stay in this marriage the more apparent it is that the person I am with is not the right person for me at all. For almost 20 years of being with him I didn’t realize a prison has been created around me. Not free to be myself, to feel the way I need to, free to express myself, make my own choices. This is where he can’t touch me. Here, I am free. To be the person I choose to be.